The Adventures of Kerri & Matt

This museum is mostly items built from sketches from Leonardo’s notebooks that he never built.

This one wasn’t even a functional invention.

They built it from this detailed plan.

He tried to make mechanized soldiers.

See look at all the plans. It makes sense. No stretching going on here.

Here’s a diving suit with attached air pump so that the air can be refreshed from the surface.

Here’s a mirror box so that you can see all sides of yourself by standing in the middle.

This machine was to grind concave mirrors.

There was also a lot more violent stuff that we didn’t learn about in school. This is a tank.

Here’s angry Matt firing a machine cannon.

This is a machine of death, not quite sure how it works but does it ever look menacing.

You already saw David, but there is more than a single statue in the building. Here are some of the works in progress.

Michelangelo would get side tracked while working and never got around to finishing these ones. 

It was interesting to see the incomplete sculptures so see how they are made.

They look stuck in the marble.

They eternally stretch but are stuck in the stone.

So close, this one was almost done.

Then there was a room with all the plaster casts.

This is an ancient statue of a girl is trying to get her dog to take a pill.

Kerri’s not entirely sure how the anatomy works here, but baby Jesus should cut that out!

Artists are a bit weird and don’t seem to have the best grasp of anatomy.

Warning: If you’re not interested in the new TV show “Ancient Works of Art: Shaft Shots Edition”, don’t scroll down.

David was originally supposed to go on the roof of the Cathedral.

But he was too heavy, and they couldn’t lift him, so he stood outside of the City Hall building that looks like a castle for centuries.

There is still a replica there, but the original got moved to a museum after his arm was broken off in a riot.

Next to him stands this lovely statue of Pluto and Prosurpina. It is made of stainless steel, but it is covered with a coating to give it the yellow-green sheen. Because if it wasn’t ugly, it wouldn’t be modern.

We went to the museum, because we’re such art connoisseurs we could totally tell the difference between the original and the replica.

The replica doesn’t have the vandalism that makes it look like he has toe fungus.

So we took our bad selfie and sat down to ponder the famous statue.

When heading out to fight Goliath, why did David grab his sling before his pants?

How did he find time for a manicure before grabbing the stone? Pants should definitely come before manicures in your giant fighting routine.

Why does he look like he’s scratching his chin from this angle?

Why are his pupils heart shaped? Is he slaying the giant or falling in love with him?

Why is his foot embedded in a tree stump?

Why is this ancient Jewish hero uncircumcised?

Why did Kerri take a picture from this angle? And is it too obscene to risk having it show up in everyone’s Facebook feed?

Here is one that only shows his upper body, just in case. The sling looks like something weirdly squishy and disgusting though.

Here’s the birthplace of the renaissance. Not like this particular street but the city in general. That dome in the background in particular.

This was the bridge to cross which is why it was set up as a major trading area. Now lined with gold shops.

The buildings all look a little different and towers peak out here and there.

Ignoring the cranes it looks so nice and peaceful.

The trades that sponsored the building of the churches were honoured with carvings representing their trade.

This one depicts the trade of “historians disagree”.

Here’s a spiralling statue that shows a less than pleasant scene.

Hercules was back in fashion and carved killing a variety of things.

This is Matt wandering through one of the most famous art galleries in the world. Not inside where the art is; that would be expensive. And we’re sick of ninja turtles. But wandering through the courtyard totally counts.

After all those ninja turtles it was PIZZA TIME!

It was very pretty as the sun set, but then it got a bit chilly.

Time to hide inside and eat all the meat. It didn’t beat Argentina, but pretty good.