The Adventures of Kerri & Matt

This is the royal dog collar.

This is a royal glove.

This is a royal water jug.

This is the royal Bible.

This is a 2680 caret emerald carved into an oil container (not officially the royal oil container).

These are the coronation vestments of Emperor Ferdinand I. The golden winged lion is the symbol of Venice. The snake eating a baby is the symbol of Milan.

This is a unicorn horn. It seems like it would make a unicorn more awkward than graceful, especially in the forest.

Unicorn horns look a lot like Narwhal tusks. In fact they have the same DNA!

Not all of them were that long.

This bowl became world famous because the word “XRISTO” is clearly written in the natural texture of the stone.

It is supposed to be easier to see from this angle. We never did figure out what they are looking at.

This is a piece of Jesus’s underpants.

It appears to be from the exactly the same piece of fabric as the piece of this bit of the tablecloth from the last supper.

The similarity apparently didn’t concern Medieval relic collectors. But then neither did the popularity of tablecloths and embroidered loincloths in 1st century Palestine.

We had wienners in Vienna. Matt enjoyed them.

But not as much as he enjoyed the apple strudel.

We also had wiener schnitzel.

We time travelled in Vienna through a surprisingly good cheesy tourist attraction and learned why Viennese food is weird.

There were talking animatronic monarchs from various time periods.

We also got to dress up like royalty and go on a spinney ride that pretends to waltz.

Then we did a simulated carriage ride that is not just a 15 minute looping video of a horse’s rear end. A certain southern Alberta carriage museum could learn from this. Of course the Alberta one probably more faithfully recreates the experience of riding a carriage.

Here is Matt playing a game he was very excited about but doesn’t remember at all.

These are the belongings of a very tall man and a very short man.

Matt stood next to the suit of the tall man.

Kerri tried to hug home.

Then we went for a ride on a 95m tall swing at 60km/h.

Here we are at the bottom, slightly dazed and confused.